Mom’s Musings

I would like to wish those of you who fit into this category a very happy Mother’s Day!

Today I have been the recipient of much pre-Mother’s Day activity.

Right after his morning coffee, my husband vacuumed the main floor of the house and then proceeded to clean the tile and the laminate with the Swiffer Wet Jet. Woohoo! The way to my heart is through my floor, evidently.

Further flooring activity followed as Rick finished installing the glueless laminate in the upstairs hall, and got the laundry chute in working order again. My, we have missed that chute. Guess we’re just spoiled.

After that, Rick’s attention turned to my oven. My oven door broke last week. The springs that allow the heavy door to open gently gave out with a horrible, exploding sound. After purchasing some springs at the hardware store, Rick repaired my oven door today. We were all excited about that, until we realized that the oven will not heat up. Guess I’ll have to call the repairman in after all to have a look at my faithful old oven (18 year old Dacor convection oven). I sure hope we don’t need to purchase another oven; too expensive, and I like this one.

Here you see a picture of Rick and me. I’m holding my Mother’s Day gift from Debra, the lovely bouquet she assembled in Floral Design class, and Rick is holding his gift to me. How do you like it?

Here is the lovely ceramic rose candle holder that Lydia made for me:

And here is Laura’s card. I especially enjoyed the sentiment, “Thanks for being the kind of mom who likes to chat . . .” because Laura and I chat online just about every day:

Just in today (5/11/2008): a lovely little azalea plant from daughter Sarah, plus a funny paper bookcover from Daiso Japan, our Japanese dollar store. Sometimes the sentiments written in English don’t make any sense, but these are pretty good: “HEY!”, “just for you”, “you’re special”, “hello”, “I appreciate you”, and “thanks so much” all on one little bookcover. Pretty cute.

Yano at Ten on Tuesday
has asked her readers, “What are ten things you love about your life?”

There are many more than ten things that I could list. I have a wonderful life, a blessed life, and a busy life. But, since I have such a busy life, I’m thankful that Yano only wants us to list ten things. Here’s my list:

• I love being reconciled to God, through the active and passive obedience of Christ on my behalf. “There is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus; who gave himself a ransom for all, to be testified in due time.” – 1 Timothy 2:5,6.
  
• I love my husband, and am thankful for him. What a blessing to be married to a godly, unselfish, hard-working guy, who also is a teaser-mc-beazer.
  
• I love my children, each and every one of them. I am so thankful for all the great times we’ve enjoyed together as they’ve been growing up.
  
• I love my church. What a blessing to gather together with God’s people to hear the faithful preaching of God’s Word on Sundays! One special emphasis at our church is learning to love one another, which is a very good thing indeed.
  
• I love my work as a paraeducator. Each day is different and challenging, and the work has such a worthwhile end: furthering the educational development of young people.
  
• I love my in-laws. They are common-sense, hard-working, generous people who love their children and grandchildren. And, they’re fun to visit, too.
  
• I love having internet access, and a blog to write. What a great outlet this is!
  
• I love having enough of life’s necessities, some of life’s luxuries, but not so much money that I need to worry about it.
  
• I love having a healthy, strong body, still a faithful servant to me, so that I may work and be useful.
  
• I love my sanity and intelligence. Thinking about things is a genuine pleasure.
  

10 Things to Do Before You Get Married

This meme is from Yano at Ten On Tuesday. I’m excited about this one, because I have such a wealth of opinions on this subject! Here, then is my list:

1. Come to grips with the fact that marriage, in and of itself, will NOT make you happy. If marriage were a panacea, would there be such a high divorce rate?
   
2. Make sure you are right with the Most Important Person, the Lord God who made you, before attempting to begin the next most important relationship, that of becoming one with a spouse.
   
3. Develop and nurture the friendships and family relationships you already have. Learn how to work through the tough times. If you give up easily on these relationships, your hoped for marriage will suffer a similar fate.
   
4. Complete the training for a career for which you are talented, and be established in that career BEFORE contemplating marriage. Is it really fair to expect the other person to put you though school?
   
5. Be financially responsible before you marry. Do you pay your bills on time? Do you live within your means, save some money, and give to worthwhile charities? If the big bills are a surprise each month, this won’t change with marriage.
   
6. Know how to care for yourself and your possessions before you marry. For example, can you take care of your car, clean your apartment, do your own laundry, and cook meals for yourself?
   
7. Find a cause about which you are passionate, and become involved in it. What is the theme of your life?
   
8. What do you do for fun? Are you doing it, or just vegging and daydreaming about it? Go hiking, biking, dancing, rock climbing, or whatever it might be.
   
9. Take yourself less seriously, and others more seriously. A big ego equals a big bore (and a big boor, too). Also, a sense of humor goes a long ways towards sweetening a marriage.
   
10. Focus on what YOU will give to a marriage, not on what you expect (or demand) to receive. At the same time, be oh-so-careful whom you marry, because the wrong choice can destroy your life. Do please be careful. Really get to know the other person, and get to know them around others who know them well. If you have doubts about the character of the other person, this is NOT the time to give them the benefit of the doubt.

I was catching up on some blog reading this morning and came across a fascinating post at Radical Womanhood. The author, Carolyn McCulley, gives a brief synopsis of the devastation to families caused by the philosophy of Social Darwinism. If your curiosity is piqued, you can read her post, The Economic Base of the Family, here.

This will be my first “real” More Than Rubies Mondays post. Last Monday I typed up Proverbs 31:10-31, which you will find as one of my blog pages. You can reread that, if you so desire, to get the whole description of the virtuous wife and mother, whose “price is far above rubies.” (Proverbs 31:10b).

I don’t plan to go through these verses systematically, as a pastor would. I’ll just chat with you about whatever comes to mind each week.

So – here you go!

I don’t know about you, but one of my character flaws is that I tend to compare myself unfavorably with others. This is a form of PRIDE that says, “If I’m not the the best at (fill in the blank), I’m going to be depressed about it.”

Look at that Proverbs 31 lady. It IS true that her husband says of her (verse 29), “Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.” The message I get is that it IS hard work to be an excellent wife and mother, NOT that this lady is comparing herself with others. She is simply striving to do a competent job, as she does the work of a wife and mom. According to her husband, she surely does succeed!

I have also caught myself comparing my older self unfavorably with my younger self. “I remember when I used to work hard baking or cleaning until midnight. I just don’t have that kind of energy anymore,” I’ll say regretfully. The truth of the matter is:

• I DON’T have that kind of energy anymore. What kind of superhuman do I pretend to think that I am, that I would not age and decrease somewhat in vigor as the years march on?
  
• I don’t NEED to have that kind of energy anymore. I no longer have a houseful of little ones who need lots of attention during the day. Some of the children are grown and gone from the family home. Those left at home are competent and willing to share in the work of the home.
  

Yes. I want to be competent. I want to do well, and even very well, all that is mine to do in my marriage and family. What I am NOT going to do, is compare myself unfavorably with every woman, past or present, who is better than me at something or another.

I will focus on my work. You focus on yours. Hope you do a great job in your home. That’s what I’m aiming for here, too.

I’ve been thinking a lot about MARRIAGE, probably because of the emphasis on romance that is part of the holiday just past.

In theory, most of us are willing to admit that we have our faults. We will admit, as well, that our husband has his faults. This leads to the reasonable conclusion that there is no such thing as a PERFECT MARRIAGE.

Personally, I have noticed some faulty thinking on my part which does NOT contribute to happiness:

• I am generally surprised and disappointed at instances of imperfection which occur. I want them to be fixed. NOW.
  
• I tend to FOCUS on the imperfections and failings (of myself; of my husband), until they seemingly FILL my view of the marriage.
  

I was thinking today what a downer it must be for my husband that I get so sad when things are not PERFECT. I have been praying that the Lord would help me, through His Word (the Bible) and through the teaching of His Holy Spirit, to think about things properly.

I read something this afternoon from the titus2talk blog that really hit home. It puts into words the vague resolution that had been swirling around my heart and head. This portion of the post is my favorite, and is from a sermon by John Piper in a series entitled Marriage: Forgiving and Forbearing:

Picture your marriage as a grassy field. You enter it at the beginning full of hope and joy. You look out into the future and you see beautiful flowers and trees and rolling hills. And that beauty is what you see in each other. Your relationship is the field and flowers and the rolling hills. But before long, you begin to step in cow pies. Some seasons of your marriage they may seem to be everywhere. Late at night they are especially prevalent. These are the sins and flaws and idiosyncrasies and weaknesses and annoying habits in you and your spouse. You try to forgive them and endure them with grace.

But they have a way of dominating the relationship. It may not even be true, but it feels like that’s all there is—cow pies. I think the combination of forbearance and forgiveness leads to the creation of a compost pile. And here you begin to shovel the cow pies. You both look at each other and simply admit that there are a lot of cow pies. But you say to each other: You know, there is more to this relationship than cow pies. And we are losing sight of that because we keep focusing on these cow pies. Let’s throw them all in the compost pile. When we have to, we will go there and smell it and feel bad and deal with it the best we can. And then, we are going to walk away from that pile and set our eyes on the rest of field. We will pick some favorite paths and hills that we know are not strewn with cow pies. And we will be thankful for the part of field that is sweet.

Our hands may be dirty. And our backs make ache from all the shoveling. But one thing we know: We will not pitch our tent by the compost pile. We will only go there when we must. This is the gift of grace that we will give each other again and again and again—because we are chosen and holy and loved.

So, what do you think? Do you find this advice to be biblical and helpful, too?

I received a gift which was small (the little kalanchoe plant) and a gift that was red (the box of chocolates), which means these gifts qualify as genuinely ROMANTIC. To commemorate this important event, Rick decided to snap some shots of us with the gifts the way our kiddos do self portraits: by holding the camera at arms’ length. Here you have the results of that photo shoot:

Which one do you like the best?

There is an interesting post over at Challies.com by Tim Challies entitled The Source of Submission: Is Submission a Consequence of Man’s Fall Into Sin?

He provides ten proofs that submission precedes the Fall and is part of God’s natural order.

1. The order of creation
2. The representation of the human race
3. The naming of woman
4. The naming of the human race
5. The primary accountability
6. The purpose of women
7. The conflict
8. The restoration
9. The mystery
10. The parallel with the Trinity

Here’s a concluding paragraph from Tim Challies’ post:

The ultimate reason a wife is to submit her husband may not have been clear to Adam and Eve. It was not clear to God’s people until after the writing of the New Testament. The ultimate reason a wife is to submit to her husband is that the marriage relationship is to mirror that of Christ and His church. Just as Christ is head of the church and we submit to Him, in the same way man is the head of the family and the wife should submit to Him. A husband is to lead in the same was as Christ: lovingly, tenderly and always seeking the greatest good for his wife. A wife is to mirror her relationship with Christ in her relationship with her husband. She is to trust him, be loyal to him and help him. This can only be done in a relationship of humble, loving, godly submission.

I found the post to be well-written and thought-provoking. Please read it, Ladies, and tell me what you think. (Or do your own post about this interesting and relevant topic!)