Mom’s Musings

10 Things to Do Before You Get Married

This meme is from Yano at Ten On Tuesday. I’m excited about this one, because I have such a wealth of opinions on this subject! Here, then is my list:

1. Come to grips with the fact that marriage, in and of itself, will NOT make you happy. If marriage were a panacea, would there be such a high divorce rate?
   
2. Make sure you are right with the Most Important Person, the Lord God who made you, before attempting to begin the next most important relationship, that of becoming one with a spouse.
   
3. Develop and nurture the friendships and family relationships you already have. Learn how to work through the tough times. If you give up easily on these relationships, your hoped for marriage will suffer a similar fate.
   
4. Complete the training for a career for which you are talented, and be established in that career BEFORE contemplating marriage. Is it really fair to expect the other person to put you though school?
   
5. Be financially responsible before you marry. Do you pay your bills on time? Do you live within your means, save some money, and give to worthwhile charities? If the big bills are a surprise each month, this won’t change with marriage.
   
6. Know how to care for yourself and your possessions before you marry. For example, can you take care of your car, clean your apartment, do your own laundry, and cook meals for yourself?
   
7. Find a cause about which you are passionate, and become involved in it. What is the theme of your life?
   
8. What do you do for fun? Are you doing it, or just vegging and daydreaming about it? Go hiking, biking, dancing, rock climbing, or whatever it might be.
   
9. Take yourself less seriously, and others more seriously. A big ego equals a big bore (and a big boor, too). Also, a sense of humor goes a long ways towards sweetening a marriage.
   
10. Focus on what YOU will give to a marriage, not on what you expect (or demand) to receive. At the same time, be oh-so-careful whom you marry, because the wrong choice can destroy your life. Do please be careful. Really get to know the other person, and get to know them around others who know them well. If you have doubts about the character of the other person, this is NOT the time to give them the benefit of the doubt.